Frustrating Firefox
by Radioactive Rubber Duck
Summary: A list of ways to annoy Firefox!


**If you ever find yourself in a situation in which annoying Firefox might be needed, then this should help you out! If you're not gonna find yourself in any situation like that, then…..read it anyway!**

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1. Call him ginger.

2. Constantly nag him about how he drinks too much and his livers going to explode.

3. Describe it in really gory detail.

4. Steal all his clothes as well, and then replace them all with stupid hats.

5. Suddenly start yelling "Fire, fire!!!! Quick, put it out, there's a FIRE!!! PUT IT OU-wait, hang on, it's only Firefox's hair, sorry about all the fuss!"

6. Tie little pink ribbons in his hair while he's not looking.

7. Force feed him ham sandwiches, thousands of them.

8. Get him so drunk that he ends up doing something really, REALLY stupid, and film it. Read a video camera there or something.

9. Cry and yell at him about all the poor little foxies that were killed to make his cloak.

10. Set fire to his hair, then when he keeps screaming and yelling about it pretend you don't notice any difference.

11. Read a treadmill to the Inkworld and force him to use it for hours on end.

12. Set his cloak on fire.

13. After doing all of the fire related things, tell him that he should have been able to cope better, because the word fire's in his name.

14. Keep confusing him with the internet browser.

15. Follow him around constantly; mirroring all his movements and just stopping staring blankly at him Everytime he turns to look at you.

16. Read poetry to him and insist that it's because he asked you to.

17. Tell everyone you can find that he keeps talking about spam fritters (or something equally weird, or something embarrassing if you want) in his sleep.

18. When asked how you know, just grin slyly and walk off.

19. Make sure Firefox actually knows about you doing that.

20. Poke him and call him fat.

21. Then hug him and call him squishy, in front of everyone.

22. Tickle him.

23. Give him lemonade to drink, and then while he's drinking it, make him laugh; with any luck this will give him hiccups. If it doesn't, then at least you get the joy of making him spit his drink out everywhere….like a lemonade fountain, or a sprinkler….doing it in the same pattern as a sprinkler.

24. Ask him to write his name in some random book you're holding, keep insisting that he has to and laugh when he starts getting scared.

25. Discuss his own death scene with him, laugh and continuously tell him how stupid he was.

26. Then start singing stupid songs about how he didn't even manage to stab Mo.

27. Buy him a fox plushie; tell him it's to help him sleep.

28. Throw a bucket of water of his head, then start panicking and yelling that the fire won't go out.

29. Sneak really strong alchohol into _all_ of his food.

30. Kidnap his horse somewhere far away from anywhere that he can get another one so that he has to share one with somebody else.

31. At that time when he's leading all those prisoners through the woods, appear next to Mina (the pregnant one) and yell "Quick, she's going into labour!" and watch the mayhem start.

32. Set a random fox on fire and throw it at him.

33. Try and teach him to break-dance. Do it badly.

34. Record everything he says, then remix it with techno music and play it back to him when he least expects it.

35. Get mud all over his cloak.

36. Talk to him the exact same way you would to a Kitten or a dog. You know, the whole "Who wants some treaty-weaties then?? Aww, who's so cuuuttee? Yesh you are, yesh you are!" type of thing.

37. Give him one of those garden gnomes that hold axes and do evil laughs.

38. Ask why he chose a name with the word "fox" in it, because "foxes are sly, and you're not!"

39. Because, according to that Moss-woman in Inkspell, he drinks too much and his livers going to explode, cover his stomach with leeches and tell him it will help.

40. Stare at him for hours, blinking as little as possible, until he gets freaked out enough to finally ask you what's going on, when he does, you say 2Your nose looks HUGE."

42. Show him this list, and go on and on about how stupid he is when he doesn't notice that there is no 41.

43. Sneak up behind him while he's holding a knife and yell "boo!" really loudly so that he cuts himself on the knife.

44. Fill his bedroom with acorns so much that when he opens the door they all come pouring out on him.

45. Walk into his room with a random priest and claim that you're turning his horse into a relic, so he can't have it back.

46. Read him into our world and get him addicted to the Pokémon games.

47. Then send him back to the Inkworld, and watch as he tries to explain to the Adderhead why he was throwing acorns at random animals in the Wayless Wood.

48. Everytime he asks you a question, no matter what the question is, respond with "Oh god, Firefox, I've already told you a million time, when a man and a woman love each other very much…."

49. Call him Mozilla.

50. Say that he didn't lead the fire-raisers half as well as Capricorn did.

51. Drop hints that he and Mortola were in a relationship.

52. Go cross-eyed every single time he tries to say something to you.

53. Ask why he chose the nickname "Firefox" and not "Ginger Ninja."

41. Finally, give this list to the Strolling Players so that it can be sung out across the land!

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**Sorry about all the ginger jokes, but I'm ginger myself, so believe me, I'm not trying to insult ginger people! Besides, it's supposed to be annoying.**


End file.
